The Secret Sauce to a Great Relationship

Over the years, I’ve attended many events and conventions. I met Terry Hawkins at one of the company conventions I attended many years ago.  She was the motivational speaker at the event and I quickly fell in love with her.  She’s smart, funny, engaging, and inspiring. I bought her book and audio CD “There are only two times in life, Now and Too Late!”   I even got her autograph! LOL

Anyway, I was just cleaning my bookshelf and found the book again, so started re-reading it and came across chapter 4, “How to have a great relationship”.Ah Yes, I remember!  She talks about a relationship ~ between husband and wife, BF and GF, parents and kids, friends, etc. It just reminded me how important this is….. So decided to share here.

So I’ll cut to the chase, the Secret Sauce is …..

Are you ready for this?

“Find out what other person wants and give it to them.”“

oh yeah, ha, I knew that! What’s new?” did you just say that?  I (sort of) did. I hear it all the time now that I’m in the digital marketing world.  I hear “find out that their problem is and solve them. Or sell them the solution.” It’s basically a same philosophy: “Find out what they want and give it to them.” 

But all too often, I still hear people talk about themselves, and not giving them what they want. That’s because we just think we know what they want and giving them what we think they want and need. 

 To ‘know’ something is one thing, the other is to actually do it.

She gives several examples in her book about this, but here is one….

“let’s say you’re a manager and you ask a team member,  “what motivates you?” and they say “I’m motivated when you spend 30 minutes with me each week.” What if you then say, “I don’t really have time for that, what else motivates you? How about I give you a bonus instead?” Mmm, it makes you think, doesn’t it? I’m sure most of you will agree that we only give people what makes them happy if it fits with what we want to give them.” (“Now and Too Late!” pg.32)

This is so true.

I know we all strive to give the best customer service to people…right?

We know what the customers need, don’t we?Oh, yes, we do. 

But really, do they need what “we think” they need?

I’ve been guilty of this. I admit…. And I’m not alone.

This happens a LOT on Facebook, I noticed.  As soon as I say hi, the machine gun bullets of “I have this great stuff, you need them, buy them, here is the link…pitch, pitch, pitch”… are coming at me!  That is just a turn off. I’m sure it is for many people too.

Do you have regard for what I need?You just want to give me your pitch and if I say “no” even once, you say goodbye and never contact me again? How about that “relationship” or “connection” you said you wanted to have?

See where I’m going with this?If we want a better and greater relationship with others….. I think it’s a great philosophy ~ “find out what other person wants and give it to them.”

Find out what customer wants and give them your best solution.  They don’t care what you have, until they know you care. (You have heard of this before, haven’t you?)

Terry gives a challenge for relationship for you in the book.  Here is my challenge to you:

1. What are the possible needs your customer might have?  What struggles / pain do they have? List all possibilities. 

2. What are the solution(s) you can offer to solve that problem or needs of your customers?

Start finding what they want and start giving them what they want! 

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